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Before you jump to conclusions and we have another death hoax of Kel Mitchell proportions on our hands; no, Kim Kardashian is very much alive. But she was, according to her spokespersons, tied up and robbed at gunpoint by individuals in Paris dressed as police. Details are slowly developing; however, here's what we "know"... Kim was attacked in… Continue reading The Death of Kim Kardashian
Special guest, Kate Lillo drops by to discuss the latest Comic Con trailers, Garbage People, and dick splits. We take a wonderful journey to Cutlery Corner, and reflect on the highs and lows of cultural appropriation, boycotting Bravo, being a garbage person, and the Chinese. Have fun with this one! It's a doozy! DOWNLOAD THE… Continue reading Talking Nerdy, Ep. 155: Appropriating Garbage People
The after-after-after hours Brooklyn-bound train tends to be much more relaxed than any other time of day. It's a nice break from the clusterfuck of New York; like nap time for grown ups.
OK, Chinese Take-Out place, you've gone too far.
While Mr. Right had been an image of spirit and optimism, Mr. All-Night seemed to have slipped into troubled times and was never to be seen again.
Street musicians are stuck in a time capsule; playing their brass from a forgotten age when people still wore Fanny Packs and believed in Jesus.
We all live for those precious moments when life combines art and rock n'roll into one cosmic portrait of youth.
I'm going to let you in on a little secret that nobody really likes to talk about...Disco isn't dead. It's clinically alive, but will never survive with you as its official representative.
Apocalypse hair style? Check. Live animal on shoulders? Check. Filthy? Check. Congrats, my good sir. You are officially the most interesting person on the planet.
This costume's been done so many times, the easily automatic nerd boner makes it hard to be shocking, but she rendered us fucking speechless.
There's a shitload of geek anticipation over the next Batman villain, so we thought we'd give this dude a shot. He may not be movie star material, but he's got the bulge and lazy eye to go pretty far in our book.
Filipino Batman's life was tragically cut short when Filipino Joker offered the ultimatum: "Live or Die, you have to choose!" And his only response was, "I know! They're on my feet."
You don't want to run into your "cool, kooky" mom at a convention for several reasons. Not the least of which is that you know, deep down, that despite the crazy make up, glasses, and C-Section scar, someone far more sad and lonely than you is going to think she's fucking hot.
It takes a special kind of submissive to set the bar at "Robin." However, it takes an inhuman level of confidence to pull off a child's costume exposing your weird man-bits.
Praise Chris Nolan all you want, but nothing he can do will ever make Batman give me a funny feeling in my tights.
It takes an enormous toll on the human psyche dealing with irritating fanboys with limited personal hygiene, but only once in a great while do you really catch a glimpse of the unfathomable darkness that truly burrows within.
Don't do the Superhero thing if you can't close your costume. The beer belly is a total secret-identity killer.
"You say the wolf's eyes burned into your soul and caused you to collide with this gentleman's truck? Well that's just about the gayest thing I've ever heard."
You always wonder with bitterness and self-contempt what ever happened to your ex-girlfriend from High School. Well, good news.
He's not just a College myth. He appears from thin air, crashes lame parties, does a 3-minute keg stand, and then vanishes...he's the greatest party animal you've never seen. And he's from the future.
Steam punk could be the cheapest style or the most expensive, but either way--when the apocalypse actually arrives, how much mechanical engineers will we truly have at our disposal?
She may have to sensually rub down the sweaty and socially inept all day, but her smile says, "fuck it, at least they're paying me."
I couldn't have said it better myself, shirt.
Isn't it a bit terrifying to think that there are some dudes who would rather see you IN this kind of uniform than OUT of it?
At a certain age, you rationalize that there probably isn't any real magic in the world. But every so often, something happens along to make you second-guess yourself.
When it comes time for her to "rebel," she's not gonna have anywhere to go but down. It's the price she'll pay for having "cool" parents.
Preaching the apocalypse should be a young-person's game. The level of concern and immediacy depletes when you're being told "you're going to die soon" by an Asian woman with one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel.
Cute girls and good food are a match made in heaven, but in a world of too-skinny bitches and shitty-quick grub, you'll just have to settle for a model and a pretzel.
I guess they're right when they say that you should never meet your heroes.
Welcome to Comic Con! Let the painfully heartbreaking sexual ambiguity begin.
Attention ladies: You can not do this and then say shit like, "Excuse me, my eyes are up here." We're not that strong. You know we're not that strong. So just fucking deal.
Isn't it amazing how guys can find the little quirks about girls really sexy one in the moment, and then--almost instantly--they become the most annoying thing ever?
You never know how truly beautiful life is until you meet that perfect Irish stereotype. Before you know it, he's staggering off into the sunset and you're left with only a photo as evidence.
The Wingman Code has deteriorated over time. There once was the notion that bros backed each other up; and sometimes that meant grabbing the short straw. Now that we've thrown the code out the window, we've stooped to the social equivalent of an unexpected cock-slap.
There's a lesson to be learned here in "Pussy Repellents." Bad-ass mountain biking gear: Good Pussy. Lightsabers and living with your grandparents: No Pussy.
Some people wonder why everyone in America hates New Jersey so goddamn much. Other people gather evidence and proof so that they never need to wonder at all. Those people are called "Scientists."
I've never wanted to get my ass kicked so badly in my entire life.
Men like to think that women are clueless and inferior, but--to the contrary--they know exactly what they're doing.
One of the many clues that Summer's here is the shitty cover band at the beach. You want to sing along, but the more you do, the more he seems to levitate with unearned self-satisfaction.
It's time for hipsters to stop denying that they're hipsters. It's the only way to combat all that hate. FACT: 3/10 of your friends are most likely closeted Hipsters. Probably the ones who use words like "Fag" and "Nigger" on a daily basis.
This is why bouncers put up with the vomiting, the douchebags, the under-age drinking, and breaking up fights. It all leads up to this moment...and he knows it.
If the NBA knew that gingers could jump this high, you'd see an increase in freckles on the court at the speed of sound.
Trolls don't just eat babies, they party all night with your girlfriend when you're out of town.
America's totally down with Madrid's crazy, 'I don't give a shit,' free-wheelin' attitude. We just don't fucking get it.
This is officially the raddest kid I've ever seen. After years of suffering, children of color are each entitled to ride a white man around any day they wish...and this kid is playing like it's no BFD.
It's always 90's Night somewhere! If not, we're all in fucking trouble.
Comics never explained what happens when Batgirl and Wonder Woman have to rescue a creep with a chubby from a burning building.
While some spend their entire lives searching for myths and legends, we stumble upon the one living piece of evidence to back up the claims of every rapper ever.
Chicks party so much harder than dudes, it's embarrassing. These girls are having all the fun while guys are busy looking for the ones too drunk to stand.
The club scene was always pretty well disconnected from the mainstream--but how many times do you have to watch some gay Twilight shit before you think this is acceptable?
When you reach a certain age, you stop caring about all of the broken promises, false hope and distant dreams. Kids, this is what you have to look forward to--so cheer up!
We could probably avoid all foreign war if powerful women, while remaining powerful and independent, would only wear outfits that we could fit in our mouths.
Is it an excuse to drink heavily, a Mick-Catholic celebration, or an annual "fuck you" to those fat-cats on Capitol Hill who won't let you have your White Pride parade?
If our traumatic childhoods drastically alter our lives and personalities as adults, this guy must have been beat half-to-death every day of his adolescence.
Examining other cultures and civilizations is a major part of the future that Star Trek predicts. We just have to make certain that our ambassadors can hide their boners long enough to make a semi-decent first impression.
Dance Dance Revolution is drastically hurting our chances for Government Funded Health Care. The more people play it, the more funding needs to be provided to both Seizure Clinics and The Center for Pseudo-Athletic Achievement.
PeTA talks a good game, but I doubt they've thought all of their platforms through. Please don't hug seals. They may look like cute water-dogs, but they will bite off your face.
If broads actually dressed like this in the 50's, the Fonz would've been able to start the jukebox with his cock.
Fuck etiquette! The more impolite you are at the dinner table, the more guys want to bring you home.
The idea that the wet-dream-inspiring celebrity sex symbols of our youths have become the transvestite icons of our adulthood confuses and disorients my penis.
When did "The Mom Look" become so sexy? Does anyone else feel like they've stepped out of a time capsule into an era where awkward jackets and plaid fanny-packs make you harder than advanced trigonometry?
Many people didn't know that Comic/Video game expos have a large area in the center to fucking sleep. I assume it's difficult to be on your feet for upwards of 2 hours when your hobby involves constantly slouching or lying down.
In this crazy, health conscious, unfair world, it's rare for a man to be able to so freely discard his inhibitions and burst into a hot sweat during karaoke.
I'm not sure what upsets me more: that I'm not tied up in her golden lasso, or that the dude behind her is blissfully una-fucking-ware that his biggest fantasy has materialized right behind his back.
Bartenders like this are like Disney World. It's fun, exciting, and you want to go on every ride--but as soon as you leave, the standard's been set too high and you're disappointed by reality.
Either this is the traditional Chinese method of issuing an Amber Alert, or everyone is completely ignoring what's going on behind the puppet.
It may seem harmless at the time, but eventually the quirkiness stops being cute and begins to turn your dreams into a nightmare hellscape.
If this is the Apocalypse, count me the fuck in. Let's just hope that Med-Kit is full of nothing but Baby Oil.
At this point, you have to try to figure out if they're actually wearing the same outfit, or if your subconscious is just censoring parts of the image that would cause you to explode right out of your jeans.
The amount of effort that goes into an act of vandalism such as this is absolutely unparalleled--but next time, maybe it should be attempted by someone with English as a first language.
Not sure if this was at a "Garden of Eden" party or a PeTA demonstration, but either way--I think I'm a vegetarian.
I don't want to defend your mom's boyfriend when he calls you a "fag," but your jacket crosses that "pussy-repelling" line in the sand that will inevitably end with you spending most of your time with the Boy Wonder...
Whoever said that guys are more competitive than gals needs his fucking head examined.
In the future, either we'll all be nocturnal cave-dwellers, or chicks will be so over feigning interest in our bullshit that they'll become asexual. A society of sexual ambiguity.
Remember back when your parents wouldn't let you go see those huge outdoor concerts because they remembered all the drugs huge outdoor concerts that they went to? Parents understand a lot more than you'd think.
These chicks are standard-erasers. Oh, you just finished a fist-banging, coke-snortin', vomit party in the bathroom? Sweet. Rock on, ladies. I'll be here all night!
It's no secret that we know more about how the human brain works now than ever before--but that's not enough. There needs to be a separate branch of psychology reserved just for those who hold Jedi Knighting ceremonies.
Despite all of the technological advances, exotic food, efficient work force, and nifty massage parlors, it still took Asian chicks far too long to discover the "Ugly Friend" method of scoring dudes.
There's a special place in Heaven for Hipsters...but there aren't any cigarettes, headbands, plaid shirts, or PBR...so it's actually more like Hell.
Christmas only comes once-a-year, but dad only goes butt-fuck insane once.
Parents, you can't have it both ways. Either your children are super-geniuses and brighter than all your friends' children, or you've managed to convince them that these two Anti-Semites actually exist.
If Earth's inhabitants are ever able to travel to other civilized planets, we'd only be disappointed; wandering around depressed and fat, thinking: "They don't have cars or McDonald's. This place is for fags."
In some circles, he is known as "The Ass-a-lope," half antelope, half annoying pretentious twat who pretends to be your buddy and then tries to impress your girlfriend with his "elven poetry."
Being mentally unstable is a full time job. It's difficult and tedious work making the effort to proudly flaunt that you were put on this earth solely to make everyone else miserable. Sometimes you just need a break--so, thank christ for bumper stickers.
While Christmas can occasionally come early, often what results in a gorgeously wrapped, but ultimately empty package.
It often escapes me where the disconnect lies between Professional Wrestling and pure whimsical homoerotic cosplay. I suppose no one will ever know.
If your first reaction to this is "This chick is the most awesome chick on Earth," consider for a moment how you felt after watching The Phantom Menace. Now imagine that same feeling following you through life, one day at a time.
Creepy older men should could learn something here. Dress up like some weird chick's fantasy and make them follow you wherever you go. They will. Because they're fucking followers.
Canadian fashion is not unlike that of the American Mid-West. City girls in the U.S. toss out a style and 6 months later, all the cool Ontario chicks are wearing it with pride.
Wherever a group of college girls gather, a male periscope emerges in the background, assesses the situation, and determines they're not drunk enough to ride.
Bartenders deserve more credit than they ultimately receive. In what other profession does one have to memorize a wide variety of mixes and chemicals, be able to cater to dozens of people at once, measure perfect liquid doses, put up with your inane bullshit...while keeping your credit card neatly snuggled beside her insultingly ginormous tits?
If Superheroes truly walked amongst us, in our normal, every day life, some would think it would be the most awesome experience ever. Others, would see it for the tragedy it truly is.
Within the wide spectrum of human experience, there exists a moment when a man must make an important decision. "If I like this, I am a gay." For some men, the choice is simple. Others remain teetering precariously on the edge.
There's a level below "rock bottom" which mainly consists of you taking down your own banner after a slow Convention day, shouting at two youngsters about how you could've kicked Shatner's bald fat ass.
Playboy Bunnies and anthropomorphism in general have been a staple of sexuality for fucking ages...but once you've got Spock sternly looking on while you show off your bunny-tail...you start to feel pretty f-word-ing creepy for getting the least bit turned on.
Before tattoos became so commonplace, they were used as status symbols, marks of pride/devotion, or simply to attract a mate. These days, their only use is to prove to members of the opposite sex that you're a "fun" chick who can stand a couple hours of unnecessary pain.